People...

I have always been a people pleaser. As hard as I try not to care and let things roll of my back. It is just not a strength of mine. I love for people to be content. I guess it's really related to never feeling like I was good enough for my Mom. I tried my darndest but to no avail. Although the more women I talk to or read about the more I realize this a common conflict between mothers and daughters. I am adament that this will not be the story between K & I. I will try my dardest to make sure she is fullfilled with love and knows how proud I am to have her as my daughter. After losing A, I think after any Mother loses a child. Your perspective of love changes. I can't really explain it but it does change.

I have learned that family is really that matters. I live, love, and breath for my family. Friends are definatly important but like the saying goes. Friends come and go and family is forever. I have had very few friends that have stayed with me through good and bad. I moved away from my immediate family when I was 18 so I think I appreciate them more. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe age and life also opens ones eyes. My Mom and I are closer now than ever. I tell her alot more than I ever thought I would. K looks just like her so I find that ironic considering our bumpy road to find comfort, love & the ability to confide in each other. Moms are irreplaceable. I know I have hurt my Mom. But I can be the best possible daughter that I can be and hope she loves me anyway. For the person, mother & woman I am.