Finding Hope...

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.
Maya Angelou

There have been so many times in our almost 11 year marriage where we have been tested to our core of what we can handle and what we can get through together. I mean even before we were married we had buried our first child. Her death was like a life stamp of love and strength for T and I. Needless to say once you bury your child things on the "What REALLY Matters" on lifes scale are very different. I say this to say that even at the worst of times we manage to pull together and find a solution. Not always with out proverbial scraps and burns but teamwork always seems to pull through. I am amazed that in the times of hardship and true heartache.

Then there is a turnign point where to why me and the I want it now ceases and the clouds roll back. You can again see that no matter what you will get through. You will make it and everything will work out. It is so hard to see this in the depths of trying times but it does come and it is a HUGE relief.

I am there and I know it will be OK. Yet again we pull though and time prevails. That all things do come on there own time. Not our time but the time that is right for us. You just have to have Hope and get through the trenches of whatever it is that is hurting you. So much can be found in your heart of finding the way through even the worst of times. I have been told by so many people that I am "So Strong" because I get out of bed and live life. I am strong in many others eyes because I have buried my daughter. But I still get up and out of the house to tell people about her and the story of what happened to her. It still hurts (11 years later), I still think of her, wonder what she would be like or look like, and most of all she is still a very loved and missed part of our family. I usually tell people that there is always an empty chair at our table and there is always a child missing in my photos. It isn't easy and it is not by any strength within me that I do get up and live. It is not always easy and I have no choice to but live my life and honor Anna the best I can. She sent us 3 healthy and strong living children for us to care for. I do it for them and for her. Even on my deepest darkest days. The days that feel like will never end and try my very being. I think of her and she gets me through. My angel always gets me through. It is her strength that drives me to be a better person & Mom. To get through times that I don't think I can. I love my life and my family so much. Anna guides us with her heavenly wings even on our toughest day!! Thank You Precious Angel!! Thank You!! Mommy Moves You so much <3