Here I sit ....

I am really trying hard NOT to be heartbroken about the INTENSE 1 year itch (Read ~ I have baby FeVeR *EEK* ) that goes on in my heart & soul with my sweet precious K's birthday right around the corner. It is officially 17 days till my princess turns 1 year old. She is our last baby. I had a tubal during her c-section. My brain knows it was the right decision to make. T & I have had 4 gorgeous kids and we are so truely blessed. I do really feel complete now that we have K with us & she is healthy. We lost so much with A when she died & my heart still aches for her. To have her here with us. K will NeVeR EVER replace A as many parents who have been in our shoes understand. But I am SOOO Thankful to have K and hold her, kiss her and have her here with us. There are no words to tell you how much I love having my sweet daughter in my arms. I know A sent her to us. K was concieved on A's 8th birthday. K & A were the same birth weight & length. They looked identical at birth. K also has A's initials reversed. There is no irony in all that. Our Angel was sending us a Precious Baby Girl to have & hold here on earth. A will alway be a part of our family. We have 4 children we love dearly. Although you can not always see our pain....it remains. Time has eased it but will never erase it. Thank You A for sending us K and for watching over your family. We All Love You A more than words can express & Miss You Every Single Day!!

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear your laugh' in the rain
I still can't believe you're gone

(Chorus)
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

(Chorus)
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

~Kenny Chesney ~ Who You'd be Today